We packed up our van with enough bags and bodies to successfully run a carnival and set off to Kansas City. Half way thru visually unstimulating Arkansas, we got a call that we need to stop at a hotel for the night because our housing was not secured for our arrival. This is where being FEMA Flexible comes in. We pulled off in Joplin for the night where we found ourselves in a hotel that had mirrors lining the walls of the room. Needless to say, I used all of my own bedding that night.

The next morning we all found it to be a good idea to partake in a KFC Buffet for lunch. Why we decided this I will never know, but I hope to never do it again. You get to stuff your face with all of the KFC you can imagine, plus you get a large beverage for $7. Everyone in the establishment was well over-weight and I didn’t know wither to run away or ask for more tater tots. I did what I’m sure all of you would do and ate way too much followed by praying that in an hour my stomach wouldn’t decide to protest. It didn’t- thank heavens. Since we still didn’t have housing at this point, we set our GPS to take us to our work location in Kansas City. Random fact about KC: It has over 200 fountains. Why any place needs over 12 I’m not sure, but apparently it brings in tourists. I find this very hard to believe, call me crazy but I think it just promotes their homeless population to take more baths, which is a win-win.

We are staying in an Extended Stay located on Main Street which is right in the middle of the city. It’s amazing. There is an area called West Port half a mile away with bars, young people, coffee shops, and great food. There is a huge shopping area the other direction with tons of stores including H&M, Forever 21, The North Face and some other pointless stores that my team is apparently super excited about. I don’t understand why though, we’re ballin’ on that petty FEMA budget. What I’m most excited about is there’s a Chipolte! If you know me at all you know I will do some weird things for Qdoba- although Chipotle is no comparison, it’s nice to have some burritos back in my life. Two miles away is the downtown area which is actually a lot less cool than it sounds- if it sounds cool at all.

Thursday was our first day at the Regional FEMA office here in KC. We went there for an hour then we were told we could have off until Tuesday. I almost cried then I asked for a group hug- which happened. I regretted it as soon as people were into it. I spent the next three days walking around and exploring the city. I’ll tell y’all about that later. We are already regulars at a bar called Harpos, my roommates who don’t go out find it to be a problem- I think it’s an honor.

And now we are at today- which is Labor Day. One of my favorite holidays because at Harsens Island it’s the Turkey Shoot. Since most of you haven’t really lived life yet, the Turkey Shoot is where you can throw candy at children, drink lots of beer, go on a boat, shoot a gun or two (which I’ve never actually done), put cars in ditches, and crash random parties with no consequences. It’s a grand ol’ time. Yet, here I am sitting under a tree watching people protest about women’s birthing rights. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely cause and these people are very nice but god damn I just want to be drunk on a boat.

Tomorrow starts my first “official” day of work so here’s to being a boss…