Thursday Anita and I participated in the “no cry challenge,” it’s a series of 19 videos on YouTube that are “guaranteed” to make you cry- nuh uh honey. We were both dry eyed and annoyed that these sad-ass videos took up 2 hours of our lives. I should have just bit the bullet and cried off the first one so I could have done something productive with my life, or watched The Price is Right. It’s a toss-up really. After a quick bathroom break I returned to find a Klondike bar and Emily present at my desk, it was like Christmas without Sangria.

IT visited me unexpectedly but in person this time, was obviously not prepared again. This time I got comments on the post-it notes that I have everywhere containing scholarly questions (you can only see them if you’re behind my desk) one says, “Why don’t we drink pigs milk.” She told me she was lactose intolerant and can’t eat any cheese- poor girl. I hope she finds happiness somewhere else because cheese is the shit. I was not assigned any tasks this day, which is getting old. I used this time to look up awkward Jeopardy moments (which there happen to be a ton of), do some research about Norway, and sharpen up my Checkers skills.

Since Thursday was September 11th, we did a service project for a local organization called the Harvesters- the community food network. We made enough “BackSnacks” to help 795 children eat for the weekend. My roll was adding Corn Flakes and doing quality control. What that actually means is I counted to thirteen, 397 times (I had a side-kick) and three-pointed Corn Flakes into a ton of clear bags. We also wrote post-cards to soldiers who were currently serving, it was a nice experience.

Friday I awoke to the sound of Emily singing the AmeriCorps pledge in an Opera remix style. I then went to get tea and met a lady who kept yelling, “Ooooo it’s gon rain, its gon rain. I hope it washes the bird bombs off Beatrice.” Beatrice was apparently a car and not a child, which is unfortunate and fortunate at the same time. After going to the van and determining I had on the wrong color pants, I threw my lunch on the side of the parking lot and ran to change. Turns out I had forgotten my room key and ran back outside just in time to see a white truck almost annihilate my lunch- miss me with the bullshit puh-lease. Eventually I got my life together and made it into work with myself and my lunch intact- minus the minor tea stains on my pants. Sometimes that’s all you can hope for, especially on a Friday. John wasn’t so lucky, he drank coffee and had to B line to the little boys room. Probably a much closer call than he led me to believe.

Today is the 20th anniversary of the AmeriCorps program and we as an organization were honored by Present Barack Obama and former President Bill Clinton. There was an event held on the White House lawn where they and three irreverent people spoke about how much good we are doing for America. Sondra got to shake hands with both Obama and Clinton- I tried to convince her throwing up on either of them would be the way to go because who do you know whose ever done that? NO ONE. Everyone who attended the event also got a free t-shirt as if meeting the President wasn’t enough. I love me a free t-shirt, things could get weird but as long as I have a shirt to show for it- it’s cool. Dwight said he would and I quote, “Shit down his leg if he ever seen Obama.” I hope we get to meet him too one day- can’t wait to see Dwight lose control of all bodily functions and meet Obama with dookie all over himself. Obamas speech it made me want to do some serious work for the rest of the day, but then we went to a party and everyone ate cake. Work went down the drain very fast.

Friday night some of us went to see As Above, So Below followed by drinks (obviously). At one point I seen a bunny and decided it would be a good idea to follow it and run back to the hotel. I don’t know why I do this but it’s always a good idea in the moment.

Saturday morning consisted of a trip to the doctor where two people fell up the stairs. I then went on a hunt to find jeans for less than $40 cuz y’all know I’m ballin’ on a budget in this program. It was the first time I had been in a store without a produce section in a long time. I made the mistake of going into the GAP, who knew that this store was for rich folk. It’s like someone’s middle finger was poking my sore spot, even their sale items were over $40. I gave up on the hunt and went on a long walk instead. It’s a cool experience when you’re going nowhere in particular and never find yourself lost. However, I did think that I was never going to make it back home- I went much further away than I thought.

Sunday my teammates and I went to an Art Gallery by our hotel. There were a lot of baby dicks and portraits of old white men. Two things I do not like. At one point I had a laugh attack- do you know how hard it is to control a laugh and not offend people in an art gallery? Hardest thing I did all week. Eventually I gained my composure and was accepted by my group again. I spent the evening roaming around Kansas City making friends and seeing Guardians of the Galaxy. I also may have sold myself- we’ll see in 10 months.